This blog is for ongoing dialogue between those of us who have survived divorced and have started the journey of finding out who they are and what they want out of their new lives. It's for support, ideas, and motivation to live a full life.

Thursday, September 27, 2007

Me Time

I met with my therapist yesterday and one of the things we talked about was Me Time. We've been discussing this topic for a while and the fact that I never really focused on me very much during my marriage. I was busy taking care of kids, family, being a good friend and a wife. I kind of got lost in it all.

The thing about being divorced is that you suddenly are faced with a lot of alone time. If you're not used to it, then it can almost be something that you try and avoid because being alone can be painful. You start thinking a lot and then that can lead to self destructive thoughts and then you kind of spiral into this funky doom-like place.

The thing about therapy is that you work through a lot of your crap so that you're comfortable being by yourself, understanding who you are, and knowing how to turn negative thoughts into positive. A huge part of that work is learning how to take time for yourself, thus Me Time. She had found a cool weekly chart that had you check off when you were able to make time for yourself during the week. Kind of a reminder that you really need to do that throughout the day/week. Most of the ideas were simple ones, like reading a book, getting a coffee, taking a walk, for instance.

Because I am still learning how to have Me Time, I almost have to schedule it into my day and week. I went on a long walk with the dog this afternoon without my iPod so that I was in the moment of my surroundings and my thoughts. As no surprise, I came back refreshed and peaceful and feeling like I could handle the rest of my day. If you don't already do this, try it, you'll see.

To your new life...
Claire

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