Where Do You Get Your Advice?

I seem to be referring to conversations with my lawyer a lot. I met with him today to interview him for a book I'm working on. We got on the topic of people not knowing who to listen to when they know they're going to get a divorce. They are so desperate for advice from anyone that they sometimes turn to the wrong people. His comments from today were...

"Choose your advisers. Everyone wants to give you advice either based on their own situation or their relatives situation, everyone has something to say. Every situation is different. There is no generic advice that can be given. Hook up with someone you trust and insist that they be straight with you. Rely upon our mom/friends for support and comfort, not legal advice."

Along the same lines, I was having a conversation with one of my dear friends about the importance of getting professional help (therapist) when you are dealing with a crisis because most therapists are totally objective. Your friends aren't. Our friends love us, support us, and help us to see the bright side of things (if they don't, run away from them), but they often don't tell us what we need to hear (in their defense, most of our friends aren't trained to know what to say), they tell us what we want to hear. That's what the professionals are for. We get advice from Dr.'s, lawyers and other professionals, and then we get to decide how to move forward with that information.

The thing with divorce is that it seems like everyone knows someone who has either been divorced or has a friend or relative who's been divorced. Everyone has stories and every one's story is really different. Knowing who to listen to and who not to is tricky, thus the need for professional advice.

So, this is probably a good time to re-evaluate where your advice is coming from and determine if you need a second, third, or fourth opinion.

To your new life...
Claire

Tags: | Divorce | Divorce Advice