Dating Advice

Sorry I haven't posted in a couple of days. Life got crazy. Here's an excerpt from someone who has posted a comment on dating from the yahoo chat group I'm in on divorce. Her code name is karenkaren651. Very wise woman...

One thing that I can pass along (or try to), to you guys whose pain
is still fresh. The last thing you should do is worry about the
next person. Who will want me? How can I trust again? Who will
want this single mom/dad with children that's too old ... too
young ... etc., etc.?

When you start thinking like that, you start looking for love in all
the wrong places. (sorry for the cliche.)

You can end up latching on the first person that shows you a little
love and attention, and either #1 get dumped on or used, or #2
finally wake up and realize you don't need someone new, once you get
over the pain, and end up hurting that new person.

The best thing you can do during a divorce is put away any ideas
of "who comes next?" and concentrate on YOU, YOUR life, your kids
(if you have them.) Focus on stuff you enjoy, learn how to live
alone without "needing" someone. Once you can get there, then you
are ready to move on with looking for another partner. Not before.

I hear about and see so many people who rush from their painful divorce into a relationship because they're scared to be alone. I get the need to fix the pain, but this is the wrong way to go about it. The work has to be done before you're ready to date, not after you're already into another relationship. By that point, the other person will serve as a distraction and you won't get your work done on you. You deserve that time for healing and introspection.

To your new life...
Claire

Tags: | Dating | Dating After Divorce | Divorce | Divorce Advice