Old Shoes

Pictured L-R - Jane, Weez, me, Liz

This picture was taken at a baby shower for my friend Jane. She lives in New York and just got married last summer. We joke that she's the smartest person we know because she waited so long to get married. She travelled, dated a lot of guys, and totally knew who she was when she got married.

I've known Jane since Kindergarten, Weez since 10th grade and Liz since 6th grade. These are my oldest 'old shoes'. I don't get to see Jane very often, but when we all get together, it's like time is erased and we're young again, each working hard to be the funniest and get the biggest laugh.

Weez, Liz, another friend Jill and I try to get together pretty frequently, but are always amazed at how difficult it is to get all of our schedules to work out so that we can see each other. We have 8 kids all together with lots of activities. I am the only divorced one out of this group and they have all been amazingly supportive to me from the beginning.

They always seem to know when I need them to shut up and just listen, and when I need them to make me laugh so hard I easily pee on myself. Nothing can break the bonds of old shoes. We've all been through ups and downs in our marriages and we all know there is no "perfect". We take trips and get away together as much as possible. We are our own little Ya-Ya group. I can say with all certainty that they have individually played a huge part in my journey after my divorce.

To your old shoes and your new life...
Claire

Tags: | Friendship And Divorce | Friendship | Divorce

Having a Foster Husband

Having travelled to Chicago this past weekend with my friend Lori, I'm reminded about the importance that she's had in my life since my separation and divorce. We were good friends and business partners, but she became like a "foster husband" to me.

I turned to her when I was devastated that my marriage was over and I had to begin the task of finding an attorney, understand my financials, and all of the other major stuff that comes flooding at you when you are at your ultimate worst. I was drowning, and she was my reality life preserver. She had no idea what to do either, but, just knowing that I had her with me to deal with things was huge. We just kind of figured it out together.

We have travelled together for years and she's always had the role of the take charge, plan the trip, take care of business person and I'm always the along for the ride, go with the flow, funny one. Our friendship was already pretty solid.

I don't know what it would have been like for me to have gone through my separation and divorce without dear friends, family, and my foster husband. I guess there are people out there that don't feel comfortable letting people "in" and feeling the need to handle things on their own. That wasn't me. I needed lots of help and everywhere I turned, it seemed, someone was offering a helping hand. My friends and family have taught me a lot about unconditional love and being real.

To your new life...
Claire

Tags: | Divorce | Friendship And Divorce | Divorce Issues

It Takes a Village To Run the Chicago Marathon

I got back late last night from Chicago where I was watching my friend Julie run the Chicago Marathon. That's her in the picture. I went with my friend Lori and Liz. I'm sure most have heard what a crazy race that was with the heat and the race cancellation. Liz ran with her from mile 6 until around 19 and then Lori ran with her until the end of the race.

I was hanging with Julie's 9 year old daughter at mile 20 in Chinatown. The race officials were telling the runners that the race was cancelled, but we were further ahead of them and could see that people were still running and trying to finish the race and kept them posted by cell phone. So, Lori and Julie finished the marathon together while Julie's daughter watched her mom accomplish something really big.

Julie's hard a hard year personally and we are all so proud of her and what a great job she did! I was so glad that her mom and her daughters were there to see how courageous she was and how determined. She had trained really hard and was not going to leave Chicago without finishing that race. It felt great being a part of her team and the teamwork that was needed to help her get to the finish line.

To your new life...
Claire

Tags: | Chicago Marathon | Divorce | Friendship