Acknowleging Is The First Step

The photo of my kids and I at the top left of the blog is our Christmas photo from last year. My divorce was final last November (2006) and it was important to me that I had a photo of our new family of three to send out. I hadn't sent any Christmas cards the year before because I was just too involved in my personal crisis.

I went onto Shutterfly last night and ordered our cards for this year. It had been on my mind and I'm into easy and love doing things from home. Now I can check that off my list (don't you just love checking things off of lists!). As I was downloading photos and deciding which pix would make the cut this year, my daughter walked up and pointed out that she and my son needed to wear their North Face jackets when they went with dad on Friday this week so that they could take their Christmas picture.

Of course, that struck me as just plain weird since their dad moved in with this woman in May and they have been dating a little over a year. Now, they're sending out these family photos like they are this married couple. I'm not bothered because I am jealous that I'm not in the photo. It just felt odd and somehow not appropriate. I on the other hand, consider myself pretty hip and am not too bothered by strange relationships and non-traditional stuff, so I guess why do I care? Normally I wouldn't, but my kids are involved, so that's why.

My point is that I'm learning to acknowledge when I'm affected by things. Acknowledging when I get that funny feeling in my gut. Once I've acknowledged it, it just seems easier to let it go, move on, accept it, whatever. As I've said before, so much of co-parenting with a former spouse is about realizing and acknowledging that you are not in control of a lot of situations. Every time my kids go with their dad, I have absolutely no control over what happens. Freaking out and worrying over that just takes too much energy, so I'm learning to just let it go.

To your new life...
Claire

Tags: | Co Parenting During Divorce | Divorce And Communication | Divorce