Focusing On Yourself

I got my daughter this book from American Girl Library titled, A Smart Girl's Guide To Boys. She's nine and isn't into boys, thank goodness. My theory is that the girls who have brothers don't seem too boy crazy at this age, but it's not a foolproof theory since I do know one or two of her friends with brothers who are boy crazy. I have heard good things about this book and thought she'd enjoy reading and we have had fun reading some of it together. If you have a daughter this age, I would highly recommend it.

Your happiness doesn’t depend on hitching yourself to the boy of your dreams. It depends on finding out what you love to do in the world, and doing it. Put your heart in you- in your hopes for the future, your plans for what you can do and create, experience and enjoy. It’ll make you strong and confident and ready for anything, including love.

Holy cow, these American Girl writers are geniuses! As someone who struggles with the feelings of failure that divorce nonetheless leaves you with, it really is imperative to figure out who you are as a female. To me, that above quote applies to girls of all ages.

My friend Lori and I talk often about how we really hope that our kids wait until they're a bit older to get married, instead of jumping into something right out of college. My thinking is 30 or older. It seems like it takes that long to try and figure out who you are. Looking back, I know a lot of people pressured into marriage because of a feeling that everyone else was getting married. L-A-M-O reason!

I had little idea who I was as a female at the age of 24 when I got married. I am finally figuring it out at 37 for goodness sakes and now know that my happiness doesn't depend upon someone else. That realization is a powerful thing and I just hope I can help my daughter to figure that out when she does start going bananas over boys.

To your new life...
Claire

Tags: | Parenting After Divorce | Divorce | Divorce And Children